


They Were Kids That I Once Knew (Now They're All Dead Hearts To You)

by adrikins319



Series: Feeling The Moment [1]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-15
Updated: 2012-11-15
Packaged: 2017-11-18 16:58:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,427
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/563314
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/adrikins319/pseuds/adrikins319
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lydia Martin was tired of the mask she wore... so she decides to change that after the events in Night School (epsiode 1.07)</p>
            </blockquote>





	They Were Kids That I Once Knew (Now They're All Dead Hearts To You)

Lydia was forced to admit to herself that it was no good pretending a “mountain lion” attacked her and her peers that night at school. Beacon Hills was supposed to be a sleepy little town in California, not a horror movie in progress. Lydia was supposed to be the queen bee during her high school years and surprise her classmates with her genius when she inevitably got accepted to an Ivy League. 

But everything is on the verge of falling apart. She could feel it… the same way she felt it when her parents decided to get divorced. Something sinister has been stirring since Allison Argent came to town and Scott McCall became the surprise star of the lacrosse team. Her façade was supposed to protect her from getting hurt. 

She tries so hard not to let anyone see the real her. That’s why she thought Jackson would be the perfect boyfriend, popular and self-centered. Somehow he slipped through the cracks of her armor. Jackson was just as damaged as her, if not more so. They were shallow and cruel but behind closed doors they had beautifully genuine moments. Lydia knows she loves Jackson but neither of them has ever said anything on the matter.

Today is the first day back to school after the night of the attack. Lydia hasn’t seen or spoken to Jackson since. She has spoken to Allison a few times but the brunette has been too depressed over her “break” from Scott. Lydia wants to be sensitive about the demise of the cute couple but a part of her is pissed at Allison for how close she has gotten to Jackson. 

Lydia needs to take action before everything spirals out of her control. She marches up to Jackson’s locker and waits for him. He arrives not that long after she gets there and gives her a quizzical look. 

“You want something?” Jackson says in his usual snotty tone.

Lydia looks at him for a moment and feels a genuine pang of pain because of what they have become. “We don’t work anymore. I can’t be with you.”

Jackson snorts. “Like we ever worked. You just want to be free so you can hook up with McCall.”

Lydia sighs and wonders why she put up with this charade for so long. “No. I don’t want Scott. I’ve done a lot of thinking and I realized all we do is pretend. I am tired of pretending but you’re obviously not.”

“What the hell are you talking about?”

“I care about you, Jackson, more than I ever thought possible. When we’re in public we are cold strangers that only care about social standing. I can’t be this like this anymore.”

Jackson just shakes his head in disbelief. “Whatever, Lydia. You’ll come crawling back, you always do.”

Lydia shallows the lump in her throat and blinks back the tears that want to desperately fall. “I’m sorry you feel this way. But then again, it’s like you said the other night ‘since when do I care’. I hope you find whatever it is you need to feel whole.”

She walks away and sees that Danny and Stiles have been watching the entire conversation. Stiles looks like he wants to come to her while Danny goes to Jackson, but Stiles doesn’t get the chance to go to her because she hides in the girls’ bathroom as Scott approaches his best friend.  
\----

The pain in Lydia’s heart over her break up with Jackson intensifies when she sees him chasing Allison around. Lydia has isolated herself from the group that was trapped in the school that night. She stopped being a shallow bitch and embraced her inner nerd. She doesn’t need anyone, only herself.  
No one really talks to her anymore since she broke up with Jackson, who ignores her and it makes her think that the privately sweet moments she felt during their relationship were one-sided. Letting go of Jackson should have been easier but for some reason he was different, and her heart won’t stop skipping a beat when he walks into the room. 

Stiles always says ‘hi’ to her but Lydia knows that encouraging his politeness would just motivate him to pursue her. Stiles Stilinski is too sweet and special to string along. Allison is busy with her Scott obsession but she always looks like she wants to approach Lydia. Sometimes, Lydia catches Danny studying her but neither of them confronts the other. 

Things don’t change until right before the winter formal when Stiles bucks up the courage to ask her out but Lydia declines. Stiles look crestfallen by the rejection and it makes Lydia feel like scum for declining his invitation. She does the only thing she can really think at the moment.

“I’m already going with someone else, Stiles, sorry.” Lydia gives him a small smile and a light squeeze on his arm. Stiles narrows his gaze on her eyes and shakes his head.

“You don’t have to lie, Lydia. I know you don’t talk to anyone anymore, you could have just said you didn’t want to go with me.”

She feels worse than she thought possible. “I’m not lying, Stiles. I said I’d go with…” Lydia sighs and spots a boy three lockers away. “… with him. I’m going with Isaac Lahey.”

Isaac’s head snaps in their direction while Stiles’ jaw drops. “Yeah, I asked Isaac out the other day because I was really rude to him freshmen year and I wanted to find a way to apologize.”

Both boys stare at Lydia in silence. Isaac comes back to reality first and nods. “Um, yeah. She asked me out.”

Stiles looks like he doesn’t really believe them but nods anyway. “Right. Well, this has been sufficiently disappointing… so, I’m going to go. Bye.”

When Stiles is out of sight Lydia turns her attention back to Isaac, the willowy boy is looking confused and very unsure of what just happened. “Thank you. You didn’t have to back me up.”

“Uh, it’s no big.” Isaac pauses and studies her with his crystal blue eyes. “I can’t really believe that you remember what happened back in freshman year.”

Lydia actually does feel bad about being rude to Isaac in freshman year because she never told Jackson, but she once saw Isaac running from his house in terror. Jackson and everyone else ignored the bruises that appear on Isaac or they blame lacrosse. Isaac has always been quiet and only ever interacts with Erica Reyes. Lydia only knows because after seeing him run from home that day, she catches herself watching him from time to time. Her popularity persona and Jackson were the only things that stopped Lydia from ever approaching the boy. 

Lydia shakes her head and gently puts her hand on Isaac’s arm. “I really am sorry for being a bitch to you that day. I’m even sorrier for ignoring you even after I saw you fleeing from your house.”

Isaac Lahey looks panicked and ready to bolt but Lydia’s hand keeps him in his place. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Fine. We’ll pretend that’s true, just like everyone pretends your bruises are from lacrosse practice.”

Isaac rips his arm from her grasp. “You don’t know anything.”

“Your right. I don’t know much about your situation but I want to change that.” The boy looks so confused by the direction that conversation has taken. “I don’t really have any friends and that’s my own fault. I have been too afraid of being genuine with other people because I was terrified they’d hurt me. Turns out that people can still hurt you when you try to shield your heart.”

“Are you talking about Jackson?”

A sad smile touches her lips. “Yes. I am, but I realized that I have grown to hate the girl I see in the mirror and I am simply tired of the persona I built. I want to try to have actual friends and I think you could use one.”

Isaac looks away and they remain silent for a while. “I have a friend.”

“Erica Reyes. I know. I’ve seen you guys together.” The boy is startled by her admission but he doesn’t say anything. “I think the three of us should hangout.”

Isaac runs a hand through his hair and shrugs. “I guess I can talk to Erica and see what she says.”  
“Okay. Let me know what you guys decide.”

Lydia knew her life was not going to be the same after today… and she was very okay with that.

**Author's Note:**

> I think I want to write more but I'm not sure yet. If I make this a series I will probably write altered verisons of moments in the series that would be effected by Lydia's choices in this story.  
> Title taken from the song "Dead Hearts"
> 
> 12/5/12: This is now part one of a series called Feeling The Moment (title taken from the song with the same name by Feeder)


End file.
